Reader Mailbag

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I’m at a loss to explain it, but here it is in it’s full glory for your enjoyment. Personally, I think a little more work could have gone into the pseudonym.

 

From “Larsy Lars”:

FAST has just revealed that it will announce it’s 2007 annual results on February 29thAt first we were amazed at the staggering 2 months it would take FAST to fabricate, er rather, add up the revenue they intend to report for 2007. And then we heard a rumor that it would be on this leap year day, that FAST would unveil the point of confusion that has led to $160 Million in losses and accusations of accounting fraud by everyone from Goldman Sachs to employees to a Norwegian Elkhound in the North that has apparently learned to count. 2008. It turns out there is a rumor FAST is in the process of arguing with Deloitte & Touche over whether The Gregorian calendar’s traditional leap year insertion of one day every four years to synchronize recorded time with astronomical events is the right way to be doing things. (From an accounting perspective, that is) Rumors have FAST executives arguing: “The Gregorian calendar is designed to keep the vernal equinox on or close to March 21, so that the date of Easter (celebrated on the Sunday after the 14th day of the Moon that falls on or after 21 March) remains correct with respect to the vernal equinox. FAST customers reportedly don’t give a pickled herring about whether the vernal equinox falls correctly. So FAST has elected to bring forward 8,000 years of incremental adjustments and apply them to 2007 to try and collect bad debts, turn MOUs into actual contracts and/or generally fatigue anyone who is paying attention to the bookkeeping. By doing so, the company has innovated to create an additional 7.54717 years to close business already reported to auditors.”Of course this could all be rumor and they might have scheduled their earnings on February 29th in the hope that choosing an obscure day 2 months after 2007 is long gone will minimize the audience.
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